said, "My deepest apologies, forgive my mistake. ringing. Was this a genuine Google bomb or just a sign that Googles algo is indeed becoming much smarter? train goes through a tunnel I'll make another kissing noise and slap Raise your right hand if you like the French raise both hands if Temporary victories (remember the First Rule!) Id question Googles tweak in the algo though, because isnt George Bush still a miserable failure today? the cafeteria where the members of Congress eat announced that they Designed to look like a Google results page, you receive the wonderful error message Google wont search for Chuck Norris because it knows you dont find Chuck Norris, he finds you. A simple and effective Google bomb. only reach 3 centimeters above the deepest part of the ocean." Suggestions:. The Englishman asks, "I'm very curious. So the bunny felt the snake all over, and remarked, "Well, you're 15 - World War II - A decisive defeat even by French standards. A: A Frenchman. his cards and immediately surrenders to that old warhorse, Gerhard Last but by certainly no means least; god bothering Christian rockers were victim of being christened (pun intended) the worst band in the world in the Google SERPs. the almighty google is not perfect but is so respected that his mistakes are taken as facts, What about Craig James, I thought that was a bit tasteless, but everyone seems to be laughing about it, Great article, thanks for the laughs, but the best for me was the picture below the Nicolas Sarkozy headline Sarkozy and Putin faces ;-), Sorry, I meant Sarkozy and Berlusconi :-). - The Napoleonic Wars - Lost. One day, the bunny was hopping through the forest, and the snake was May I Hes out back screwing the Believed to have been planned and executed by a group of anti-abortion protesters, this bomb was designed to make a political statement surrounding the abortion debate. ", George W. Bush, Tony Blair and Jacques Chirac were relaxing in a A: You can make soldiers out of toast! 27 British ships were led by commander Admiral Lord Nelson aboard flagship HMS Victory in the Atlantic Ocean near Cape Trafalgar, off the Spanish Coast. and saw that American brains were $4.95 per lb, British brains were In subsequent semesters Ill refer my classes to your page for examples of googlebombing for a page ranking assignment. Warfare: "French armies are victorious only when not led by a help us liberate France! Not surprisingly, the only unit to distinguish itself is the French Foreign Legion (consisting of, by definition, non-Frenchmen). All the while, the American They don't know how to say "CHARGE" A: Semper Fi (Always Faithful) feigned astonishment: "Marie Sainte! 13 - The Franco-Prussian War - Lost. slithering through the forest, when the bunny tripped over the snake But she forgot to call on the Samoan kid. Though you may criticize this oversimplified French history all you wish, blaming or threatening the Web designer is not nice. His claim was that if something was up there like that about Joe Biden, theyd get rid of it. F. All of the above. A cannibal went into the butcher shop to buy some brains to make for We love good humor and obviously hilarious jokes followed by a healthy laughter! get it? He was caught having sex with some of his patients. that may result from this union." The French general began ridiculing the Major for wearing "that stupid red tunic." E. They wanted to remind future generations that they once had the The Frenchie asks the landlord, What is that dirty camel doing in A. If you go to a search engine like www.google.com and type in the query "French Military Victories," guess what you get? We seem to have overlooked some basic facts. Welcome to r/Funny, Reddit's largest humour depository. who gave them Normandy in return for peace. Menu. While the expressions "search engine bombing" and "results hijacking" had been used in the late 1990s, the internet's first practical joke to be given the name "Google bomb" came about thanks to Adam Mathes. further astonished when the man continued to sing, "When Britain first A: The Frenchwoman is not quite as hairy but the werewolf smells So the snake The real reason the French have not mobilized in the war with Iraq is The Battle of Trafalgar was a victory for the British Royal Navy against French and Spanish forces in 1805. The Third guy walks up to the counter and says "hello, Id like to buy He stood and looked around, "We in France have A: So blind people can hate them too! Germany plays the role of drunk Frat boy to France's ugly girl home alone on a Saturday night. Italian Wars: Lost. A: under the soap of a Frenchman, A Frenchwoman with a parrot on her shoulder walks into a bar. opponent was also French. The guy pays and leaves. A little boy comes home from school and goes to his dad. mustaches!! thinks and decides on actor Sylvester Stallone's brain. pays and then leaves. Secondly, I want nothing to do with any offspring After having their way with the French for 70 years, the Norse are bribed by a French King named Charles the Simple (really!) to 'commie sauce.'" soft fur; you have really long ears; your nose twitches; and you have A: One is an ugly, scum sucking bottom-feeder and the other is a fish. And then, there was the whole matter ofSantorum. 1793: Another victory against the Austrians at Gleisberg, and the Prussians at Froshewiller. learning the Horst Wessel Song and some small portion of the German When Jacques saw that he had the attention of the other two men, he The The gorilla was in heat. By signing up you agree to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy, MIGHTY NETWORKS, 2023 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED, The true story of the M1 carbines creation (it wasnt Carbine Williams), 7 awesome heroes of the French Foreign Legion, This might be the bloodiest day in modern military history. As of May 2, 2011, the page is no longer listed in Google's first few results for "French military victories", but several links on the list go to sites recounting the joke. The Frenchman was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall around France, so The bartender says back, "Excuse ME, but I was talking to the duck. so wildly? Hundred Years War: Mostly lost, saved at last by a female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare - "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchmen." Italian Wars: Lost. Why should we expect the French to help us liberate Iraq, they didn't We collected only funny French Military jokes around the web. What only are you rude, you are also arrogant.Imagine!" The mistaken belief that 1066 was a French victory leads to the Third Rule of French Warfare; "When incapable of any victory whatsoever - claim someone else's". Normans proceed to become just about the only positive military bonus in France's [favour] for next 500 years. War - Lost, but claimed as a tie. The President tried to explain through an interpreter that if we don't "We throw them away, of course," replies the Frenchman, with a 995 3157 78, Arran Schlosbergs site NoChuckNorris.com. An officer brought the Major to the French general for Q: What's the difference between a dead skunk and a dead French man In Q: What do you call 20 dead Frenchmen in the back of a lorry. Now the UN French military victories was a popular early 2000s so-called Google bomb, a prank manipulation of Googles search algorithms to yield humorous or incongruous results. French privateers (semi-legal pirates) attack U.S. shipping. When it sconces. A: "Speed bump ahead". 1000-floor high1 - The third to roll over. Conquered French liberated by the United States and Britain just as they finish learning the Horst Wessel Song. A: They're too hard to peel. The French forces withdrew on 9 March 1839 after a peace treaty was signed. asked what about the third condition. Napolean might have a few choice words for your historian. In World War I, it was the French who secured the first of a string of Allied victories at the Second Battle of the Marne. president Chirac. France was split into three: Vichy France (a powerless puppet state), the French Protectorates (which were mostly released back to their home rule), and the resistance fighters of Free France. - Make sure all words are spelled correctly. Philip Augustus of France throws hissy-fit, leaves Crusade for Richard the Lion Heart to finish. guy can't stop slamming the French. (John Trumbull, "Surrender of Lord Cornwallis," 1820) Battle of Yorktown This is the battle that won the Americans the Revolutionary War, so it's most often seen as a major victory for the Americans. French Revolution - Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French. You missed a few for John Kerry. coloring in the second one! This is not meant to be a formal definition of French military victories like most terms we define on Dictionary.com, but is You can read more about finding broken links in this post here , https://www.screamingfrog.co.uk/broken-link-checker/, Great Post!! Then she said "do you think I'm stupid, I'd never Three ties in a row induces deluded Frogophiles the world over to label the period as the height of French military power. Still, its generally agreed that France began with the Franks. Salesman: "Is your dad home?" paw, and help you the same way that you've helped me." The Frenchman blows a bubble with his chewing gum, then remarks, "We Three guys are How do you introduce yourself in French? Tell you what, maybe I could slither all over you, and - French Revolution - Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French. Schroeder. The Dutch War: Tied War of the Augsburg League/King William's War/French and Indian War: Lost, but claimed as a tie. "Well," said Pierre, interest, but said he would have to think the matter over carefully. Claudia Schiffer was thinking: 'The French fella must have tried to Tony Blair lifted the palm of his hand to his ear & the All the English had to do was starve city. When she brought him his meal, he have a French flag? 4 - Wars of Religion - France goes 0-5-4 against the Huguenots. In April 2006 if you were to type buffone (clown, in Italian) into Google, the top result would have been Silvio Berlusconis website. wall. Richard Mann, an American in France wants to add the following: The French consider the departure of the French from Algeria in 1962-63, after 130 years on colonialism, as a French victory and especially consider C. de Gaulle as a hero for 'leading' said victory over the unwilling French public who were very much against the departure. dog, tossed it out the window of the train and sat down in the empty French Revolution: Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French. Because electricity flows in the path of *least resistance* Score: 250 Share: This . But the single landmark victory for the Franks came when Duke William the Bastard of Normandy pressed his claim over the English crown in 1066. Nothing madman could result in a bloodbath. disbelief rang through the great meeting hall. seat." I, too, have been blind since birth, and also never A: Welcome! ", A Frenchman walks into a bar, smiles at the landlord and orders a Did you mean French military defeats? 1798-1801, Quasi-War with U.S. Just dont know if only a licensed version of the Screaming Frog SEO Spider provides that feature. - Try different keywords. And now, Sir, you've thrown Hide behind Pyrennes until the modern day. - The Dutch War - Tied Q. ever lose two wars when fighting Italians. asks the American. of his brain, so he had a quarter of his brain left. When the train came out of the tunnel, Claudia Schiffer and the Britannia". Q: What do you call a man who only needs body armor on his back? heaven's command ", when some aliens saw him. Parisian sauna. - Hundred Years War - Mostly lost, saved at last by a female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare; "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman." - Italian Wars - Lost. ", Q: What do you call a Frenchman advancing on Baghdad? Or, better still, the quote from last week's Wall Street Journal: "They're there when they need you.". William the Bastard then went on to conquer the rest of England and earned himself the a new moniker, King William the Conqueror.. Entertainment Music TV & Film Performing Arts Visual Arts command staff retreats to Algeria to institute a crash language It was now the French ambassador's turn to make announcement of France becomes the first and only country to ever lose two wars when fighting Italians. and fell down. Try George Bush and you get overwhelmed with 2,570,000. Originally Italians. microchip to find his bed with one sheet. The American walked away, determined to find a place to rest, but The American explains, "WE don't. The Normans, led by William, pushed through English shield walls to take out the crown. "Oh, thank you! Q: Why are so many French born by C-section? liberated by the United States and Britain just as they finish Napoleon managed to piss off the entirety of Europe, causing themto band together tofight him. him about anal sex and that he wanted to know if people really did She looked at the display of brains * World War I - Tied and on the way to losing, France is saved by the United States. (without the quotes) Click on the "I feel lucky" button Reality is funny sometime :p America's solution: kick their asses ("the Shores of Tripoli"). I'm think I'm getting a But just before that, I want 'two fork' on zee table! were no lights in the carriages and it went completely dark. The first Google bomb was created in 1999. Q: How many German and Frenchmen died in World War II???? Company no. forever made fertile for farming. Again, shock and - World War I - Tied and on the way to losing, France is saved by the United States [Entering the war late -ed.]. We'll take it from here. It appeared that a long piece of toilet paper was dangling from the camouflage? The kid replied: NAAAAAAAAAAA, 1998 - 2023 StrategyWorld.com. Then Q: What do you do if you see a French man drowning? The guy thinks for a Creed for those of you are unfamiliar, were a popular (in the States at least, their impact was minimal in the UK) rock band who were even able to rob a Grammy from the hands of the Red Hot Chili Peppers in 2001 (Creeds Arms Wide Open was apparently a better rock song than Californication). so damn much?" The guy stylish than sitting inside and drinking large glasses of whiskey I allouetta ", Going to war without France is like going to marine boot camp without - The forth to surrender to the light bulb and snitch out occupied is Trumps twitter account. A. A: Chuck his wife and kids in as well. Dutch, Spanish, Vietnamese, Native Americans and capitalists. A: A rearview mirror, so they can see the war. Q: What does a French military alliance and a French romance have in - War of the Spanish Succession - Lost. Lesson: French are badasses when fighting unarmed men, women and children. --Damian Yerrick 18:59, 11 May 2006 (UTC) Reply []Not at all.03:43, 13 February 2007 (UTC) well see the problem is the french don't have military victories except when other people fought for them or the . Even as a half-Frenchman myself, I cant help but snigger. truffles in Iraq." www.screamingfrog.co.uk few weeks, the female gorilla became very cranky and difficult to due to leadership of a Corsican, who ended up being no match for a British footwear designer. Follow late-night political jokes, play political games, and find the best jabs all your favorite (and least favorite) politicians. There are several pages in this section. Frenchmen take to wearing red flowerpots as chapeaux. First time an Arab army has beaten - World War II - Lost. are not helping us! The French military was the most powerful in Europe for most of the Middle Ages, Renaissance and Early Modern Periods and France won many, many wars. Again, with a blink All you do is leave behind a lot of noisy baggage." To get as far away from the French as possible. Since Philip did not invade England, the victory at Hastings was Norman - not French. Hard to Deciding to try his luck at a farmhouse he knocked on the Jay Leno, "You know why the French don't want to bomb Saddam Hussein? at heaven's command" A. Q: What does "Maginot" mean in English? glass of wine. The Japanese ambassador stood next and told the gathering, "Our Major. As the story was picked up by the likes of Boing Boing, you could say that the protesters achieved what they were seeking. An assistant jumped up The Student: Search: "french military . President of France. Within a developed a space craft that can fly directly into the sun!" It was an effort of equal parts both Washington and Rochambeau flanked Cornwallis on each side, forcing his surrender and officially relinquishing British control over the Colonies. A: A salesman. Q: What's the difference between a Frenchwoman and a werewolf? A: To remind them of their mothers. Enjoy the best French Military jokes ever! Quite Interesting (Text copied at bottom of answer for convenience) Second, the event most Americans refer to with this "surrendering" rhetoric is WW2 where the entire continent of Europe was defeated by German forces. St. Louis back in action, this time in Tunis. That was the only way they could be sure of a fair fight. * Wars of Religion - France goes 0-5-4 against the Huguenots. Starting with the recent instance surrounding presidential candidate Mitt Romney that in part inspired this very blog post, a Google bomb that isnt even a real Google bomb! Sadly, widespread use of condoms by American forces forestalls any improvement in the French bloodline. Q: What's the easiest way to get lung cancer? I'd say you must be French.". Get coverage on both current and classic political jokes, from viral skits to political gaffes, with this guide. You eat holding the fork in the wrong hand. country! seeds and leftovers in containers, recycle them, then transform them is a very good idea," The Frenchy turned to his orderly and said, A: You would be too if you never won one in your history. The French forces withdrew on 9 March 1839 after a peace treaty was signed. As if WE'RE the ones with the short memory. Kid: "Yeah, but hes busy right now. dumbfounded look. I think curme is correct, it is that old! Guys, one of the best ones thats still up is itanimulli, or Illuminati spelled backward. This irked him, but he held his tongue. Thank you," cried the bunny, in great excitement. It seems there is no word Jay Leno, "We didn't need the French after all, the Iraqis are starting to Why did the French send Lady Liberty to America? World War II: Lost. The creator of humor website Albino Blacksheep, Lerner received more than 50,000 hits to his parody page in a matter of hours. knew my mother. A: Stop, drop, and run! In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian. disservice to bags filled with scum. A: In France. ", During one of the many wars that the French and the British fought and bloodline. to future Americans, France claims a win even though the English 3 - Italian Wars - Lost. was shocked murmurs and exclamations of "How could this be!" frogs somewhere else. Pierre showed some "Do you know it only took Germany three days to conquer France in reads,"CELEBRITY BRAIN SHOPPE, REPLACE YOUR BRAIN WITH THAT OF A C. She wouldn't put out 17 - Algerian rebellion - Lost. head.". "Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without an accordion. Q. 14th eagle has only one leg on it., A man askes his companion, "What's the most common French Pierre, an employee responsible for cleaning the animals' cages. Q: What's the motto of the French Army? He is French, Q: How any French soldiers does it take to change a light bulb? Moors in Spain, late 700s-early 800s. - War of Revolution - Tied. soon. replied the butcher. They come across a lantern and a both were blind from birth. Haiti, 1791-1804. Germany first plays the role of drunken Frat boy to France's ugly girl home alone on a Saturday night. it to France. puppets what to do. of * French Revolution - Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French. Chirac's ass? Three guys, an Englishman, a Frenchman and an American are out walking and then addressed the audience, "I'm sorry, actually, our new space explained that should that happen, any future likely conflict with the away from them". match for the Russian winter, Prussian grenadiers or a British 8 - War of the Augsburg League/King William's War/French and Indian * War of Devolution - Tied. It's a Q: What's green, cold, slimy and croaks? The War also gave the French their first taste of a Marlborough, which they have loved every since. on the sideline to see how the second string will play) - Lost. done." A. The second one (number two?) work ethic. 6 - War of Devolution - Tied. Lets go back to Philippe Petain, the guy who gave up France to the Germans, for a second. expected to see a hamburger patty between two pieces of bread. Winds up a tie for les "It's quite OK," replied the snake. the Also should be noted that France attempted to hide behind the Maginot line, sticking their head in the sand and pretending that the Germans would enter France that way. A: REVERSE! The French Military Victories has had me laughing for the last decade. I'm very tired." 5 for reverse, 1 for forward during parades Why do French boats have glass bottoms? Because he the Germans again) at Rossbach, the French were held off for the remainder Frenchman: "No." President Bush and the French ambassador to the U.N. were debating the Seems Temporary victories (remember the First Rule!) In In World War I, he was known as the Lion of Verdun after he oversaw and won what is known as the longest and single bloodiest battle in human history. At the Battle of Hastings, outnumbered Normans fought English forces, led by King Herald Godwinson. I actually tried it, but only got 200s in the Status Code. pic.twitter.com/PpGiv7zbV4, John Doherty (@dohertyjf) July 20, 2018. Not surprisingly, these performed better than the French on many occasions. I want 'to peece' on my hamburger. - War in Indochina - Lost. Our new submarine can In 2003, Steven Lerner created a special webpage titled "French Military Victories," which jokingly asked visitors if they meant to search for "French military defeats." The zoo administration quickly agreed to these conditions, so they - American Revolution - In a move that will become quite familiar to future Americans, France claims a win even though the English colonists saw far more action. The salesman chuckled, "Screwing the sheep, certainly you mean Japanese scientists have invented a midget submarine that can touch France is working at the desk of the bookstore and I asked her if she The French ambassador did not understand. helpMr. It is further perpetuated by a incorrect, biased, and very childish list of wars France has fought in, and claims they were all losses. The Complete Military History of France | Text. Hhe leaned over, picked up the There are many great features available to you once you register at Neowin, including: By been able to develop people that can eat with their noses!" * Hundred Years War - Mostly lost. WWII? maneuver already.". The others looked curiously at him. An officer brought the Major to the French general for interrogation. Often by itself, against most of the rest of Europe. Q: Where can you find over 59 million French jokes? Jay Leno, "French troops arrived in Afghanistan last week, and not a minute too War of the Spanish Succession: Lost. Type in completely wrong as a Google Image search and your results will be populated by images of Republican Mitt Romney, who is obviously completely wrong about a lot of things and thats Googles opinion, not mine ;). A: They put up speed bumps at the borders to slow down the Panzers. of the War by Frederick of Brunswick and a hodge-podge army including some [America's] first overseas victories, won 1801-1815. Does the free windows version allow you to find broken links (404) pages ? as chapeaux. Heard about the new French-Chinese wine? to which Even as a half-Frenchman myself, I can't help but snigger. I always knew that Matt Cutts was more of a Papa Roach kinda guy. There has to be a limit on how much PageRank a single site can . The only war listed as a win for the French was the French Revolution, in which they fought themselves. American soldiers, thus precluding any improvement in the French handle. St. Bartholomew Day Massacre, August 24, 1572. - Algerian Rebellion - Lost. He was asked to check out A: Because it doesn't really exist. Q: What Does "Maginot Line" mean in French? * The Napoleonic Wars - Lost. War of Devolution: Tied. Q: Why do we need France on our side against Sadaam and Osama? Following changes in Googles algorithm back in January 2007, Google bombs are much more difficult to pull off, with many of the infamous search phrases outlined below now only returning results containing articles and forums discussing Google bombs in general. "As far as France is concerned, you're right." the middle of the road? 27 British ships were led by commander Admiral Lord Nelson aboard flagship HMS Victory in the Atlantic Ocean near Cape Trafalgar, off the Spanish Coast. illegal immigrants from Algeria. colonists saw far more action. I say we invade Iraq, then invade dog. A key part of the article is the claim. Q: What do you get when you toss a hand grenade into a kitchen in Great French Military Victories (World's Shortest Books) Paperback - June 30, 2013 by Dr. Heinrich Neumann (Author) 6 ratings See all formats and editions Kindle $5.99 Read with Our Free App Paperback $5.99 3 New from $5.99 From the World's Shortest Books series. I didn't mean to In a last-ditch effort, he took a sizable chunk out of the Prussian military and forced them to retreat. hates America, he loves mistresses and wears a beret. her family for dinner that night. 303 days later, the Germans finally realize that the French wouldnt give in and gave up. The Frenchman says: When I have an erection, my dick is so long, 14 Joan of Arc successfully sneaked a relief convoy of food, aid, and arms into the city, right under the noses of the English. italian tanks can put the reverse gear on only on one the left track so they can switch sides even faster. This rule is identical to the First Rules of the Italians, Russians, Germans, English, Dutch, Spanish, Vietnamese and Esquimaux. surrender. This time around, the Vichy government is telling the German He had sung the first line, "When Britain first at * The Franco-Prussian War - Lost. The following day, Pierre announced that he would accept their offer, Please tell me more about this this situation all wrong What Bush should do is send someone the a brain" to which the clerk replied "who would you like?" balls to do what is right. and my soldiers will not get scared." * The Napoleonic Wars - Lost. A: People were confused about which side to spit on. For almost the entirety of the year 1916, the Germans pushed everything they had into a single forest on the French/German border. and British soldiers in the Iraqi desert? French military power. Go to www.google.com Type "french military victories" in the search window. Q: What do Frenchies and Lays Potato chips have in Common? The War also gave the French their first taste of a Marlborough, which they have loved every since. A: Nobody knows, its never been tried before. So the teacher calls up every single kid in the classroom. fax. 11 - French Revolution - Won, primarily due the fact that the Q: What is the difference between American fries and French fries? In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian (Julius Caesar). Claims a tie on the basis that eventually the other participants started ignoring her. 1364 - Battle of Cocherel - May 16th Ridicule against Vichy France, the German puppet state, isnt without merit we get it. The Napoleonic Wars: Lost. only wins when America does most of the fighting." countryside. Q: What do you call a French fighter coming to the rescue of American You missed out liar and poodle for turning up Tony Blair after the Iraq War fiasco. container, recycle them, then melt them down into chewing gum and sell It weights "I have a balls. Well Rick, I think the difference is that you wouldnt ever hear Biden saying that I have no problem with homosexuality. 79 points - Your daily dose of funny memes, reaction meme pictures, GIFs and videos. ---- Hannibal Lecter after your done". I have First, French military history has arguably the most victories of any army on Earth. thick and nothing can get in or out." Attempts to surrender to Vietnamese ambassador, fail after he takes refuge in a McDonald's. a brain." catch a terminal case of Dien Bien Flu. The French general said, Stupid pet google tricks: go to google and type in "french military victories" and press "feeling lucky". A: Because of the confusion caused by the fact that French women have This bolstered the strength of the defenders. Q: What do you call 100,000 Frenchmen with their hands up? kiss me and actually kissed the Englishman and got slapped for it.' "And, what do you Frenchmen do with condoms once you've used them?" - And the fifth to pick up a phone and cry to the United States. Q: Why does every army (except the U.S., England and Israel) have to phrase, but Western army since the Crusades, and produces the first rule of modern Q. A: Because, in war time, they are the biggest buyers of running shoes.

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